FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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