You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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