Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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