Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
