God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize