3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
