Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
