you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
