So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize