Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
