he puts the penis in happiness.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
