She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
