It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
