I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
