Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
two words...techno handjob
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
