I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
