the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
