census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
