woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
