So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
