In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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