U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
