A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she smelled like a LAN party
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
