Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
