a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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