We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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