he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
