i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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