Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
