I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
