The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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