How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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