Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
