Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
