Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
