Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there's paper in my vomit.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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