Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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