never play flip cup with pint glasses
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
