Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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