Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love having hate sex.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
