Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
