I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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