Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
