and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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