Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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