Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We got so high we made milksteak
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
