i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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