Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my sisters under your porch take her home
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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