apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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