they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize