I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
