Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
