there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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