Christians are straight up FREAKS
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
