Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
