bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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