next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
