my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
