why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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