so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this just has baby written all over it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Randomize
