I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
