Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
