i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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