Someone shit on the floor
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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