There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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